west uptowner

Last week this activity ate my life. It was a monster show with no time to put it all together. I am a little shocked that it actually happened, more or less on schedule, despite the unforeseen violence to the budget it caused. I'm not prepared to do that sort of thing again.

So, today a different thing: a meeting for a show I'm actually designing. So far it's a blast, though I'm a bit behind because of how last week's gig consumed me. Need to reconnect to the script, work out some details of building, etc. But the slate is almost clear of other gigs, so I've got a chance to focus on it in a way I haven't had in a while.

Doubts: mostly about theatre in general, vs. particulars.

# posted by trev @ 6:05 p.m. 0 comments

I'm going to hit a wall soon. The 14-16 hour days add up. I slept in an hour today, which wasn't critical, but if I keep that up I'm in trouble. Tomorrow is an intense strike of a huge set from rehearsal, and early monday we put it all back together, in a tight chunk o' time. Long hours to come.

Times like this you've got to eat well. But that's easier said. I'm probably too tired to write a fukin blog, eh, but this is what happens when you start these things: you feel obliged to continue.

In a timely article in this months Harper's magazine a writer begins by quoting Ovid: "Love yields to business. If you seek a way out of love, be busy; you'll be safe, then." I have stubbornly persisted to love someone. But work like this makes you an alien to true intimacy. I'm not getting rich doing this. What am I doing?

... guess I'll know better tomorrow.

# posted by trev @ 12:02 a.m. 0 comments

More conversations about the dark age ahead today. In the fallout from the US elections this week it feels a little bit like a revolution just passed us by. Or maybe one just happened, only not the one we wanted. We just got the wrong revolution -- same as the old revolution. Welcome to the Cold War, part 2.

I had hoped that the 3 years since "9-11" would become a historical blip. Something awful happened, the U.S. had a violent spasm in reaction, and perhaps by now it would begin to pass. That's not what I expect now. Now there is a looming sense that the last 3 years were the prelude to a full decade of violent reaction to the WTC destruction. That the U.S. is on a stumbling course of self-perpetuating aggression with moral justifications that were familiar to medeival monarchs.

And the rest of the world will duck and dance until the superpower is either sated or goes bankrupt.

# posted by trev @ 8:06 a.m. 0 comments

I had an awful day -- I realize with every new issue that I face on my current gig (production manager for a show going into Buddies in Bad Times Theatre this month) that this show is bigger than I realized. Every time I think the latest problem is under some kind of control, I try to move forward to find that I have forgotten ten other issues. Today it was labour and money. We just don't have that much of either, not for the size of our ambitions. The set is a monster and our schedule is drum tight for our tech week. Thought I'd panic for a few minutes when I did the initial math on our wood costs. Found a way to cut it in half, but I need some redesign from the set designer. Here come the arguments and blame. My job title ought to be "production bitch".

Of course, nothing flushes a bad day with a bright streak of puke like knowing that a dangerous crank just got a fresh mandate to inflict his agenda of aggression on the world from his perch in Washington. Feels like the decade will turn grey for good. I should take a year of black and white pictures to commemorate the passing of global diplomacy that may once have had nuance beyond binary thinking.

Thank whatever's worth thanking that I'm in love, and that she loves me back.

# posted by trev @ 12:06 a.m. 0 comments