west uptowner

Tired and wishing I wasn't. Three main jobs these days and a couple of smaller ones on the side make me a stupid, stupid man.

Saw this little bunch of letters from a press, and liked how they look like a tiny landscape of broken buildings. Or something from the past. They are going obsolete, and it's only a matter of time before this stuff is going to be more or less forgotten. When I get overworked I am more sensitive to moments of nostalgia.

# posted by trev @ 10:10 a.m. 0 comments

I'm working in the Ryerson University ("Rye High") theatre shop, thanks to the generosity of Will Sutton, and building a tree for a Halloween fundraiser at the AGO. We are using carefully harvested clear spruce, cut from 80-year old trees, taking the processed pieces, and assembling them into the shape of... a tree. Am I living in an ironic poem? Days like these, it seems we all are.

Anyway, I hope it works.

# posted by trev @ 10:06 a.m. 0 comments

So glad I saw this moment today. I was driving all over the place returning "pppeeeaaaccceee" rentals, overseeing a set build (for a fundraiser at the AGO), fetching furniture for / sitting in on the first rehearsal of "Not My Story", and checking in on the Native Earth people about buying a projector. Too much to do to eat. Got home HUNGRY and stupid, saw this beautiful blast of light through the smog I'd just spent all day breathing (and creating), and jumped up with energy I shouldn't have had to snap the pic.

I can't figure out why I work myself so hard. Working freelance, you don't feel that it's necessarily safe to say "no" to a job. Also, you say "yes" to things that you might not want (you gotta make rent, right?) then find yourself in a pinch when something you absolutely DO want to do comes along that eats into the same month. It bores me to write about this, it's a constant monologue running through my head these days: "Too much work. But I accepted this." Yes, I'm whining about something that I did to myself, isn't that pretty much what we all do?

So. Tomorrow more running. Two production meetings, one in the morning, one in the evening. In between, carpentry, and some running about for props and a big red velvet thing for "Not My Story". ...I'm still on about work. I wish I could stop -- Bea is here in the room with me wishing I would stop. Now she is threatening me with some kind of acupuncture - style torture to treat the problem.

Soon I'll make some time to contemplate the city, write another poem for it.

# posted by trev @ 10:13 p.m. 0 comments

In the dark. I write. I wait for a call to act. I anticipate pulling a rope, hitting a button. But mostly I wait in the dark for a cue. That is what I am being paid to do. Right now, anyway.

I am not alone. Millions of people work in the dark. The dark of basement corners where the heavy equipment is maintained. The dark of nighttime streets where the cleaners pass. The dark of lots and empty hallways as the watchmen patrol. The mine. The lightless subway tunnels. The darkrooms.

And the theatre. Which is a little bit in everywhere anyway, as every place is a place of drama, and every person a chameleon. Only here – here we do it with a tighter focus. And it must also be said: we do it for money.

That is an honest definition of theatre: we behave, but carefully: with more attention to the moment and its impact upon those who see it. We do, but do with a different intensity. We live, intentionally, in public places for money. Whether we live out fictions or true stories matters less than that we live honestly, enacting pieces of lives that have wholenesses not necessarily seen immediately. And that we get paid for the work. Effectively, for the focus.

# posted by trev @ 1:14 a.m. 0 comments

Almost done at Theatre Passe Muraille for the current gig. Although I know I'll be back in there in a month and a half, the idea of the current show ending still leaves me feeling a mix of dread and joy. I'm glad that the evenings will free up and I can go out and check things out again, and that I don't have to sit in the dark for an hour and a half and listen to the same show every night... But the nice thing about running the show was that it gave a bit of structure to the day. Knowing that every evening I'd be there, in this beautiful room working with a group of lovely people, is something I will miss.

There were five newborn babies at Michelle P's birthday party last night. FIVE born in the last few months. Is there something in the water? One baby is cute, two are adorable, three make something to see, four is an event, but five is vaguely disturbing. They are all beautiful, of course.

# posted by trev @ 8:40 a.m. 0 comments

Had a production meeting in Kensington market, then toured around with the camera for a bit. After taking this shot an old guy told me a bunch of newfie jokes for a dollar. Then one about a chinese restauranteur throwing an egg down the street because he didn't like spring rolls. Yeah.

I got a call today for a big money gig that would take over my life for a year. Don't think I can do it, unless they'll take me in one or two month chunks. But movie crews don't work like that. So I'll probably stick with theatre for now. Strange saying no to money: we aren't conditioned to avoid wealth. Only a few hours before, Bea had a similar situation: she was called to audition for a print ad, possibly worth $3000 - $5000, for Botox. She turned it down, on principle, but only after thinking hard for a few hours. Maybe we can change things in the world by saying no to meaningless shit the Machine is trying to stuff us with.

# posted by trev @ 11:06 a.m. 0 comments

Spending evenings in the dark, working the slide projectors for pppeeeaaaccceee, Darren O'Donell's 3-hander about "life after the revolution". The shows been called several things: a Benneton ad on three tabs of ecstacy, a vaseline sandwich, a poetic hug, etc. I like the piece, but my experience of it is limited because I don't see much of it.

Anyway, my role was putting the physical bits of the thing together, and now that we're up I sit through the show with only a computer for light. I don't have too much to do so I get a bit of work done in that hour and a bit that I'm stuck there. It's not hard to find work: I have a set and light design going up at Artword Theatre in a month, a huge tree to build for a fundraiser at the AGO, a show I'm production manageing that goes up Nov.18, and another set and light design to prepare for December / January. Adobe Illustrator is becoming my program of choice for composing plans. One of these days I'll pick up CAD, but for now life's too short to figure it out.

It's an odd feeling, working there in the dark. The show pulls me away periodically, but doesn't demand much thought. So it's easy to be very focused on whatever I'm working on. The fact that I can't make a peep -- I mean, only a thin piece of fabric and twenty-five of space separates me from the twenty-to-hundred-and-thirty people sitting in the audience -- also sharpens the attention wonderfully. I started this run dreading my time backstage, but now I really look forward to it. The room I do most of my work in is incredibly cluttered. I can't seem to keep it orderly, and as a consequence, it's easy to get distracted in there. This sensory deprevation backstage is a refreshing change.

# posted by trev @ 10:31 a.m. 0 comments