Tuesday, October 12, 2004
october sunset study1
Originally uploaded by trevorsc.
So glad I saw this moment today. I was driving all over the place returning "pppeeeaaaccceee" rentals, overseeing a set build (for a fundraiser at the AGO), fetching furniture for / sitting in on the first rehearsal of "Not My Story", and checking in on the Native Earth people about buying a projector. Too much to do to eat. Got home HUNGRY and stupid, saw this beautiful blast of light through the smog I'd just spent all day breathing (and creating), and jumped up with energy I shouldn't have had to snap the pic.
I can't figure out why I work myself so hard. Working freelance, you don't feel that it's necessarily safe to say "no" to a job. Also, you say "yes" to things that you might not want (you gotta make rent, right?) then find yourself in a pinch when something you absolutely DO want to do comes along that eats into the same month. It bores me to write about this, it's a constant monologue running through my head these days: "Too much work. But I accepted this." Yes, I'm whining about something that I did to myself, isn't that pretty much what we all do?
So. Tomorrow more running. Two production meetings, one in the morning, one in the evening. In between, carpentry, and some running about for props and a big red velvet thing for "Not My Story". ...I'm still on about work. I wish I could stop -- Bea is here in the room with me wishing I would stop. Now she is threatening me with some kind of acupuncture - style torture to treat the problem.
Soon I'll make some time to contemplate the city, write another poem for it.